I miss Craig more on nice sunny days. I don't know why some feelings hit harder than other times. When it is 60s and sunny and we are on the back deck, I want so badly to debate with Craig which ugly cedar trees we are cutting down in the backyard. I wanted them all down, he wanted to save the one near the deck for shade. I wanted to put a pool there. He would roll his eyes, yes that is what we need, a pool to take care of. Miss him so badly. I miss our language and our life together. I miss his calm, confident, consistent presence. I am enjoying my abundant life but still missing him so much.
We were eating dinner outside one night and Emily said, "I'm glad that tree is there, it shades the deck nicely." Seriously. Craig. Junior. It is eery and comforting at the same time.
Derby season is upon us in the bluegrass. I went to the "They're Off luncheon" last Friday with Cox Radio, and Thunder over Louisville with a friend on Saturday so it is officially DERBY season! So much excitement leading up to the race on the first Saturday in May. This weekend is the (mini) marathon and TEAMHOPE has raised $4645 so far!!!! WOW! Each team member has hit their goal so they will all be sporting their Purple shirts on Saturday morning. We are meeting down at Central and 3rd to cheer the runners on and then going down to the finish line. If you will be there look out for the Purple people. Much love for all the members of TEAMHOPE, especially Scott Deitz for organizing everything on top of starting a new job! Busy bee. And big cheers for Scott Dant who is running the full marathon this year!!! There is still time to support the team! Link below.
http://teamhope.kintera.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=1036967&lis=1&kntae1036967=9E0CEFA5C3D64C52B9B4808CF1424C11&supId=0&team=5372584&cj=Y
Craig, this week I have been missing you so much. I just wish you would walk through the garage doors so badly sometimes. Miss you, love you and we will see you again.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Friday, April 19, 2013
Cheesecake on a stick
The moments that I think "If Craig were here..." become fewer as time goes on but yesterday at soccer practice for Morgan Coach Rob said, "If you could review field positions with the players at home that would be helpful." Since I have never played soccer, I replied, "I'm gonna need a chart for that." If Craig were here he would be Morgan's coach. He would know the positions. He would practice with her in the back yard. He would have loved spending the time with her, it would become their thing... He was her soccer coach when he was diagnosed. He love it.
I got an email for the Market Day which is a fundraising program for the girls school. Cheesecakes on a stick were on special this week. Craig would have LOVED cheesecake on a stick!! :) I am sure there would have been some movie quote that would have been fitting for this order. I am not ordering them. I would sit on the couch and eat the whole box.
We are gearing up for the DERBY mini-marathon next weekend. More to come on TEAMHOPE. Here is the link if you want to donate. Please support Scott Dant, he hasn't hit his goal yet and we need to make sure he gets his purple run shirt. Scott and Liz had a baby this week. Mary Kate Dant was a 10 pounder. Congrats to the Dant family. :)
Craig, I hope they have cheesecake on a stick in heaven. :) Miss you and love you.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Board of Directors (from the Book One Widow to Another by Miriam Neff)
Normal. One major thing that is so different since Craig died is that I don't share my life with someone. You are probably thinking well duh. But really there is no one on this planet that knows what is going with every piece of my life. This is weird. A home is the hub of a life. Family members come in and out and school, sporting events, dinners, work, church, etc. When you are married you share everything. There is a general exchange of status, events that you divvy out: you pick up there, I have to be here at this time, are you going to be home to do this... blah blah. It is just me. I'm the hub. I have fabulous friends that listen to options and new challenges but when it comes down to it, it is just me and a heck of a lot of prayer. And then there are bigger things like what's next? Are there career moves that I should be making? Are there things that I need to do differently with our money? Should Emily/Morgan/Hannah being investing time in different activities? It is all on me... and God.
To think I am capable of raising three little girls by myself is just crazy. The other night I was chatting it up with God and asking Him why would you give me these fantastic little people and then take our leader away? In a very candid way I said, "You have given me extremely talented people to develop. Each one with their own unique sets of talents, strengths and weaknesses. And I am suppose to figure out how to develop their strengths and work with their weaknesses so they don't hold them back? Have you seen what these three are capable of? Emily is pretty close to a genius and I am not. Hello, you took my genius Home and now what I am suppose to do with her? Last night she informs me that the books I have purchased are too easy. Ugh. She is already smarter than me! Hello! And Morgan is the busiest-bee on the planet. I can keep up with her and we can get things done but my patience wears thin and you took my patient man back Home! And the little one, Hannah Jane, she is joyful and tearful in a two second rebound rate and she won't poop on the potty and I am pretty sure she is a genius like Emily but so goofy you can't see it all the time and you took my consistent, calm potty trainer Home!"
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:7
I kind of figured He would reply with "you are not alone." Gotta Love the Creator of the universe and a being so patient with my crazy conversations. :)
I read the book From One Widow to Another this time last year. It was the closest thing I could find to an instruction manual on how to be a widow. For a time after Craig died I thought I am not taking on this title. Yes, it happened to be but I thought I'm just not gonna do that. I am not taking on that identity. I'll take single mom and then God will hurry up and give me a husband and maybe I'll be a stepmother and I can just skip the whole widow-thing. After much prayer and direction from a dear friend I realized not figuring out who was as a widow wasn't going to bring God any glory. Skipping the title widow wouldn't allow God the opportunity to work through that journey. SOOOOO I dove into From One Widow to Another. The book is very straight forward and there were a lot of aha moments along the way. One concept that is introduced early on is how to combat debilitating fear. Fear that doesn't let you move forward b/c your life looks so different than what you thought it was going to be. The concept of a board of directors helps widows navigate the life change. It took the thought of "it takes a village" one step further for me.
The Widows board of directors:
1. A Godly Widow. This has been a big one for me. I have always been one to feel comfort in numbers. Someone to compare notes with. My theory is yes you might be nuts but at least you have good company. My mom is one of my Godly widows since she lost my dad 11 years ago. Jenny has become a wonderful friend after she lost her husband in Afghanistan on April 4th 2012. And I have a good friend, Jamie who lost his wife, Emily, February 25th, 2012. I follow some blogs for the same reason and even though there is not a group that I can call home with the Internet I have been able to connect with people in similar boats. priceless!
2. A person with Financial Wisdom. Since Craig was in banking he hand-picked these people for me. Virgina Copley and Betsy at BB&T have been so very patient with me throughout this year as I continue to make my way through the ins and outs households budgets, major purchases and investing in the girls education.
3. A practical friend. This one was easy to identify. GWEN. She is about the most practical person I know and she isn't afraid to tell me when I am being ridiculous. Together we can fit the pieces of any puzzle together and make a plan (some plans are better than others but never the less we can get it together in a 15 minute phone call).
4. An encourager. I have to admit I am a little high maintenance in this area. I needed more than one... actually more like 21... I have several friends that are amazing encourager. One of my favorite quotes from one of them is "You're not crazy, your situation is crazy." Awww... good... thought it was me. :) I'm not listing them out, they are in every corner of my life and I have needed them a lot over the past couple years.
5. A person with spiritual discernment and courage. I found this in my Facing Adversity's Group that I use to attend when Craig was sick. Several members of Southeast have been the voice of the Lord when it was too hard to hear Him. Judy Staten at SECC has been there for some tough conversations. Lord has provided in a major way to keep me on track.
6. A relative whose priority is your well-being. I would hope this would be all my relatives. My family has been an amazing support system of prayers and encouragement.
A couple that I would add being a single mom would be:
7. A great mom friend: When moms ban together to support one another it can be a wonderful thing. When you have a single mom, encouragement is even more important.
8. A great teaching staff: The girls have had very understanding teachers that have supported them through the past year.
9. A handy man and a grass cutter. God has provided some wonderful help around here and I will forever grateful.
10. Prayer warriors. I know that we are a functioning, loving, Christ-centered household b/c of our prayer village. The Lord has put my family on many hearts and they have turned prayers into peace and love so that we are a successful thriving household.
As time goes on the board of directors becomes less and less needed as widows combat fear one success at a time. When emotions ran high, I relied on my board of directors more than I should have but I am grateful for each one that the Lord provided.
So much to update so little time.
Topics floating in my head:
-Follow up from the heaven sermon that Kyle included Craig at his table. Who would be at my table?
-TEAMHOPE
-Strong and Courage by Abby Richardson
-Jonah - the series we are doing now. (LOVE IT!)
To think I am capable of raising three little girls by myself is just crazy. The other night I was chatting it up with God and asking Him why would you give me these fantastic little people and then take our leader away? In a very candid way I said, "You have given me extremely talented people to develop. Each one with their own unique sets of talents, strengths and weaknesses. And I am suppose to figure out how to develop their strengths and work with their weaknesses so they don't hold them back? Have you seen what these three are capable of? Emily is pretty close to a genius and I am not. Hello, you took my genius Home and now what I am suppose to do with her? Last night she informs me that the books I have purchased are too easy. Ugh. She is already smarter than me! Hello! And Morgan is the busiest-bee on the planet. I can keep up with her and we can get things done but my patience wears thin and you took my patient man back Home! And the little one, Hannah Jane, she is joyful and tearful in a two second rebound rate and she won't poop on the potty and I am pretty sure she is a genius like Emily but so goofy you can't see it all the time and you took my consistent, calm potty trainer Home!"
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:7
I kind of figured He would reply with "you are not alone." Gotta Love the Creator of the universe and a being so patient with my crazy conversations. :)
I read the book From One Widow to Another this time last year. It was the closest thing I could find to an instruction manual on how to be a widow. For a time after Craig died I thought I am not taking on this title. Yes, it happened to be but I thought I'm just not gonna do that. I am not taking on that identity. I'll take single mom and then God will hurry up and give me a husband and maybe I'll be a stepmother and I can just skip the whole widow-thing. After much prayer and direction from a dear friend I realized not figuring out who was as a widow wasn't going to bring God any glory. Skipping the title widow wouldn't allow God the opportunity to work through that journey. SOOOOO I dove into From One Widow to Another. The book is very straight forward and there were a lot of aha moments along the way. One concept that is introduced early on is how to combat debilitating fear. Fear that doesn't let you move forward b/c your life looks so different than what you thought it was going to be. The concept of a board of directors helps widows navigate the life change. It took the thought of "it takes a village" one step further for me.
The Widows board of directors:
1. A Godly Widow. This has been a big one for me. I have always been one to feel comfort in numbers. Someone to compare notes with. My theory is yes you might be nuts but at least you have good company. My mom is one of my Godly widows since she lost my dad 11 years ago. Jenny has become a wonderful friend after she lost her husband in Afghanistan on April 4th 2012. And I have a good friend, Jamie who lost his wife, Emily, February 25th, 2012. I follow some blogs for the same reason and even though there is not a group that I can call home with the Internet I have been able to connect with people in similar boats. priceless!
2. A person with Financial Wisdom. Since Craig was in banking he hand-picked these people for me. Virgina Copley and Betsy at BB&T have been so very patient with me throughout this year as I continue to make my way through the ins and outs households budgets, major purchases and investing in the girls education.
3. A practical friend. This one was easy to identify. GWEN. She is about the most practical person I know and she isn't afraid to tell me when I am being ridiculous. Together we can fit the pieces of any puzzle together and make a plan (some plans are better than others but never the less we can get it together in a 15 minute phone call).
4. An encourager. I have to admit I am a little high maintenance in this area. I needed more than one... actually more like 21... I have several friends that are amazing encourager. One of my favorite quotes from one of them is "You're not crazy, your situation is crazy." Awww... good... thought it was me. :) I'm not listing them out, they are in every corner of my life and I have needed them a lot over the past couple years.
5. A person with spiritual discernment and courage. I found this in my Facing Adversity's Group that I use to attend when Craig was sick. Several members of Southeast have been the voice of the Lord when it was too hard to hear Him. Judy Staten at SECC has been there for some tough conversations. Lord has provided in a major way to keep me on track.
6. A relative whose priority is your well-being. I would hope this would be all my relatives. My family has been an amazing support system of prayers and encouragement.
A couple that I would add being a single mom would be:
7. A great mom friend: When moms ban together to support one another it can be a wonderful thing. When you have a single mom, encouragement is even more important.
8. A great teaching staff: The girls have had very understanding teachers that have supported them through the past year.
9. A handy man and a grass cutter. God has provided some wonderful help around here and I will forever grateful.
10. Prayer warriors. I know that we are a functioning, loving, Christ-centered household b/c of our prayer village. The Lord has put my family on many hearts and they have turned prayers into peace and love so that we are a successful thriving household.
As time goes on the board of directors becomes less and less needed as widows combat fear one success at a time. When emotions ran high, I relied on my board of directors more than I should have but I am grateful for each one that the Lord provided.
So much to update so little time.
Topics floating in my head:
-Follow up from the heaven sermon that Kyle included Craig at his table. Who would be at my table?
-TEAMHOPE
-Strong and Courage by Abby Richardson
-Jonah - the series we are doing now. (LOVE IT!)
Saturday, April 13, 2013
My 11th wedding anniversary
Craig and I would have been married 11 years today. My bouquet was the size of a bowling ball made up of gorgeous light pink roses. It was fabulous and very heavy. We were only 23 year old when we got married so it was a huge party. People have many great stories from that night. Each one makes me smile not only bc they are hilarious but they are a reflection of a wonderful celebration. The tradition of shots of wine began that day since we drained three kegs and guest were forced to make do. Sorry. Wonderful memories. I miss Craig today but so grateful for the memories. Happy anniversary, Craig!!
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| this is my favorite picture from our wedding it sits on the shelf in the living room. |
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Easter 2013
Easter 2013 pictures.
We had a crazy busy weekend starting on Thursday with back to back commitments in the afternoon. Normal is nuts right now. We went to church with our church crew and had dinner at the Deitz house Saturday night. Sunday Morgan and I woke up in the wee-hours of the morning with the stomach bug and missed out on the Sunday Easter fun which is why there are no pictures of the Sunday morning Easter egg hunt here at the house. Emily and Hannah went on with my mom and brother for the day. It was a much different Easter than last year but I couldn't help to sit in Easter service and praise God for His plan. Although on Good Friday it didn't seem like a great plan at all but He is the ultimate redeemer and b/c of His plan Craig has an incredible Home now. Easter has a new intensity to it. When you have someone so close to you living in the Promise of the Holiday it brings a whole new level of gratefulness to God's Ultimate plan for our lives.
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| Dying Easter eggs. Finally on Saturday after Morgan's soccer game. |
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| Hannah's favorite color is Armarro (yellow in Spanish) |
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| sisters and buddies (don't let their sweet faces fool you, these two can do some damage together) |
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| Sweet little Easter dresses. |
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| The church crew after Saturday night service |
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| Kailyn helping Hannah out on the Saturday night egg hunt |
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| The found eggs, all 101 of them |
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
One year down
There have been times over the past year where people have said, "just get through the first year." "The first year is the hardest." At the time I thought, we are doing fine, and I am not sure what is going to change at the year mark that would make it so different. It is. I can't explain why. Last Tuesday, March 19th I realized that Craig wasn't coming back. I knew along and where he was and that he wasn't coming back to live with us but there is a new level of this realization. It is hard to explain. Memories of Craig are memories and not life lingering. New normal isn't new now, it is just normal. I'm a single mom and a widow. It is not a matter of I just lost my husband X months ago to cancer, it is simple a status. Apart of this is really sad b/c I rarely visualize Craig in our daily lives any more. Our lives are what they are, we are not in transition and making due, this is our life. I have no idea why the one-year anniversary made this reality, but it did. I have asked fellow widow(er)s if this is what they felt and they said the same thing. There is apart about that is freeing too. We are an awesome family unit (aka: an all girl party, a mini sorority house) that is grounded in God word and trusting His plan. We have figured out new normal for a year. There is a sense of accomplishment. I wrote a blog post titled "progress report" but probably won't ever post it. One night a couple weeks ago I was down about all the limitation that I have being a single mom. I am only one person and my girls deserve better. My friend Liz said that I needed to make a list of all the things in the last year that I have accomplished. I am just as proud of the things that I haven't done as much as the things I have accomplished and checked off the list. It takes a strong person to get through a massive list of things to do but it takes a stronger person to stop and pray and wait for the right answer.
I haven't run off to Vegas to marry the first dude that could kill bugs, take out the garbage and change the light bulbs around here. I'm praying for the fairy tale, I don't want someone just to help out, I want the plan that God intends for us. The past year has taught me He does have a plan, even when He has said no to prayers request I feel blessed b/c I trust His timing and plan is the perfect one.
The funds that people gave us for the girls education fund is still sitting in a savings account at BB&T b/c I wanted to be comfortable with the household money management before locking the funds up until their days at Assumption (or maybe Mercy). I have a meeting Friday to talk about investing those funds. There is a sense of accomplishment that the house is still standing, the lights are still on, the water is running and the girls Easter dresses are adorable and it is all paid for (electronically b/c it is easier). :) yeah me. (little background: before Craig died I hadn't paid a bill in 10 years. The last time I paid a bill I wrote an actual check for them like they did in biblical times (sarcasm.sorry), he took care of all the money stuff).
These decisions take a lot of time and prayer and that won't change. God has been there every step of the way.
Anyway. This year was a year of growth and healing and now we land in normal. Time seems to speed up too. When you are walking through an intense situation whether it is cancer or grief or whatever time seems to slow down. You cram so many thoughts in one day that you think there is no way that X event happen just yesterday. Time seems to be back to normal. It feel like we have walked through the fire and we are on the other side.
Overall we are doing really well a week into year number two without Craig (minus the stoamch bug that Hannah picked up somewhere along the way. yuck).
Craig, If there are blogs in heaven, love you and we will see you again.
I haven't run off to Vegas to marry the first dude that could kill bugs, take out the garbage and change the light bulbs around here. I'm praying for the fairy tale, I don't want someone just to help out, I want the plan that God intends for us. The past year has taught me He does have a plan, even when He has said no to prayers request I feel blessed b/c I trust His timing and plan is the perfect one.
The funds that people gave us for the girls education fund is still sitting in a savings account at BB&T b/c I wanted to be comfortable with the household money management before locking the funds up until their days at Assumption (or maybe Mercy). I have a meeting Friday to talk about investing those funds. There is a sense of accomplishment that the house is still standing, the lights are still on, the water is running and the girls Easter dresses are adorable and it is all paid for (electronically b/c it is easier). :) yeah me. (little background: before Craig died I hadn't paid a bill in 10 years. The last time I paid a bill I wrote an actual check for them like they did in biblical times (sarcasm.sorry), he took care of all the money stuff).
These decisions take a lot of time and prayer and that won't change. God has been there every step of the way.
Anyway. This year was a year of growth and healing and now we land in normal. Time seems to speed up too. When you are walking through an intense situation whether it is cancer or grief or whatever time seems to slow down. You cram so many thoughts in one day that you think there is no way that X event happen just yesterday. Time seems to be back to normal. It feel like we have walked through the fire and we are on the other side.
Overall we are doing really well a week into year number two without Craig (minus the stoamch bug that Hannah picked up somewhere along the way. yuck).
Craig, If there are blogs in heaven, love you and we will see you again.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Nolan
I went to meet Craig's namesake, Nolan Craig Phillip Graff, last night. I couldn't give him up. I think some relatives waiting to hold him wanted to throw me out the second story window (Sorry). He is such a wonderful reminder of new life. What an absolute gift. Tears most (all) the way home. God's timing is so wonderful. Nolan is so very special.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Remembering Craig today: One year without him
It was a day of ups and downs. Remembering Craig and who he was makes me want him back so very badly but remembering how sick he was I am relieved that he is healed, cancer-free and Home. I was trying to upload a video of him and Hannah in July 2010 but couldn't get it posted. His legacy is his girls. Although he died on cancer, it wasn't who he was. He should be forever remembered as a loving husband, incredible provider, kind friend, a wonderful (!!!!!) daddy, and a faithful follower of Jesus.
Today God showed His amazing timing. Jenny and Eric Graff welcomed their new baby boy, Nolan Craig Phillip Graff into the world. Although today could have been filled with tears of missing Craig, it was full of text updates on when this gift was to arrive. God made sure that we focused on life and not death today and little man Nolan will hold a special place in my heart.
Craig, if there are blogs in heaven, we love you, we miss you and we will see you again. Love you.
Today God showed His amazing timing. Jenny and Eric Graff welcomed their new baby boy, Nolan Craig Phillip Graff into the world. Although today could have been filled with tears of missing Craig, it was full of text updates on when this gift was to arrive. God made sure that we focused on life and not death today and little man Nolan will hold a special place in my heart.
Craig, if there are blogs in heaven, we love you, we miss you and we will see you again. Love you.
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Heaven lunch with friends
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We had a few close friends join us at church and lunch today to remember Craig. Hannah was excited this morning because she thought it was some one's birthday. So we just called it daddy's heaven lunch, it sounded more uplifting than memorial luncheon. We watched the video that was at Craig's visitation and ate Qdoba (of course). Emily got upset watching the video but rejoined the group for cupcakes. Morgan waited until bedtime for the tears. We miss him. We are fine and hopeful for the future but just miss him.
PS Jenny Graff (on the end of the couch is due any day now. I predicted that baby boy Graff will come tomorrow on the 18th.... Jenny's water broke after leaving here today.... We can't wait to invite a new little one to this world on a day that could be all tears. This baby will be a reminder that God is good, His timing is perfect and precious life goes on. Eric was Craig's best friend since kindergarten. This baby will always hold a special place in our hearts forever. Go Jenny Go!!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Ecclesiastes 3
Time for Everything
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
This is one of my favorite scriptures. Craig and I used it in our wedding and I used it for Craig funeral. I have more peace today than I have for the past three days. The dark days seem to come in 3s. On the third day I surrender the pain to the Lord and He brings peace beyond understanding. He is the foundation for my family and for that reason we will be okay. It will not be anything of this world. It will be His redemption plan not mine. I looked over this blog last night and the hard days seen to land here. We have had an amazing year of growth, healing and a lot of joy. We have depended on the Lord for those things. Each time I have thought "I've got this" the situation turns rotten and makes me look to Him for peace and hope. He has brought an amazing amount of love and joy to this home. We work through the rough days but there are more days filled with love and joy rather than tears and grief. Anniversaries are made to remember. I remember Craig final days and they were horrible. Some might think that I am nuts but I am looking forward to Monday. I am looking forward to celebrating where Craig lives now. I am thankful for the love that we shared and excited about the healing that we have received this year from the Lord. I am hopeful for the future.
Upcoming post: progress report.
PS on March 19th I am not apoligizing any more for where I am in my grief journey. If I am done with grief then I am done with grief. It has nothing to do with not loving Craig enough, it means I am done. When I revisit it I will revisit it. I am throwing the book out. I have grieved Plan A for 2 years and 5 months. Plan A was over October 4, 2010 when Craig was diagnosed. Everyone does life differently and I am done trying to fit this invisable mold. When I am okay I need to be thankful for being okay and when I am not I need to work through it. The year mark gives new freedom to our journey and I am taking it and running with it. Someone once said "The should's" in life are what get us in trouble. I am offically OVER "the should's" of grief this coming Monday.
Craig, I'm glad to be able celebrate that you have received the gift of eternal life. I wish there were more years here with us but those are merely second compared to how long we get to live in the House of the Lord together. I love you and will see you again.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
The Power of Prayer
I let a couple of prayers warriors know that I have had trouble sleeping the past couple nights. I have had very vivid flashbacks about how Craig looked, his last dinners with us, the way he walked (and couldn't) etc. (you don't want me to go into any more detail than that). For the past year I have not had trouble sleeping. The girls wear me down and when I hit that pillow at 11p it rarely takes long to fall asleep but this week has been brutal. Last night I laid down at 10:30 and fell asleep and didn't wake up until Hannah needed me at 1:30a and then I went back to sleep. To sleep through the night has no explanation other than the POWER of Prayer. This time last year I would have been up with Craig throughout the night and those details have been flooding my head but not last night.
God is Good and my prayer village is amazing.
Just get me to Easter. Goodness this sucks. Keep praying for my family. This is really hard.
James 4:10 Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up.
God is Good and my prayer village is amazing.
Just get me to Easter. Goodness this sucks. Keep praying for my family. This is really hard.
James 4:10 Humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Discounted
Written friday: Last night I went to the grief group at SE. I was working through somethings in my heart about this plan that God has for my family. When I hit a bump in the road it throws me back into the mess of "Why?" I had a simple suburb life and when I hit a bump that complicates things the frenzy starts with questions of "Why couldn't I just live the life I had planned?" I struggled with pride a lot. For a time there I felt very discounted. Jeremiah 29:11 says For I know the Plans I have for you to prosper you and not harm you. This has brought comfort but sometimes I have fought with God and asked WHAT WAS SO WRONG WITH MY PLAN THAT WE HAVE TO DO THIS ONE!? My plan was to be married to Craig, to work through our differences, raise our girls, and live the American dream. What was so wrong with Plan A? Never-the-less, I trust His plan. But there has been many conversations with The Lord letting Him know I wasn't digging this Plan B very much. I trust ya Lord but this Plan B just doesn't seem like a very good one right now, I'm willing to ride it out with you but really this one I'm not so sure about it all.
People with great intention sometimes say stuff like, it was God's plan for Craig to die at age 34 and we have to just accept it. Recently I have heard discussion on this topic on WAY-FM especially when talking about the loss of a young child. I don't think that God wants our lives to be cut short we simply live in a fallen world. It is His will that we have the gift of eternal life and whenever our bodies give out then we have a Home to go to. I do think that He builds our bodies strong but they are in fact earthly bodies and have earthly limitations. Do I think that He could have reached down and cleared up Craig's pancreas and liver in a magic wand like fashion? Yes. Why didn't He? I don't flippin' know but to continue to ask those questions will make ya a crazy person and scriptures constantly has the theme, "Do not worry, God's got this." so I am going with that (most of the time anyway).
I am healing and growing through this year. The frenzies are much shorter in length and much less intense as each hurdle comes. I give all the Glory to God for that. Healing without Him is not healing. It is simply move forward. We are doing more than just moving forward. There are days that it is just simply breathing and getting through but with God leading some days we are doing more than that.
http://www.chicagolandwidowed.org/blog/what-i-would-tell-my-newly-widowed-self-monday-january-14-2013
This is great blog post. Here are my additional thoughts on each of the topics.
Your body will feel every inch of your grief so be kind to it.
I have to pat myself on the back for this one. Although around the holidays I was eating comfy food and gained 6 pounds (yuck) overall I have not succumbed to the temptation of overeating or drinking. I think this in large part to the Facing Adversity group that I went to while Craig was sick. I heard story after story of numbing the pain of disappointment with alcohol, drugs or food and then when enough was enough that they were still left with pain and the mess the habit left them. Since the end of January I have added more exercise in the mix and that has been a fabulous help reaching the daily goal of sanity. I have said many times to close friends in my sarcastic way that there should be an award for single parents that aren't alcoholics. Your kids are doing well, and might look like a train-wreck sometimes but you make the good decision not to drink yourself to a comfy place. Here is your certificate of achievement, see ya next year. :) Kidding...kinda.
Your loss will transform your relationships. and You are not alone…not by any stretch of the imagination.
This has been a tough one to deal with for me. Although I value the new relationships that I have made I miss being a couple so badly. One blog post I never published talked about missing being Craig-n-Michelle. You know the list of people that you go through when you talk about who you are meeting us with this weekend... Gwen-n-Scott, Kristen-n-Brent, Josh-n-Kelly, Jason-n-Christy...I miss being Craig-n-Michelle. But one day I will be a someone-n-Michelle...just not today b/c Ive got some more healing to do. I do love the new relationships that have developed in this crappy widow club. Crappy reason. Great people.
(future blog post: Who will be at my dinner table in heaven?)
You will actually feel like getting out of bed one day and be happy that the sun is shining and the birds are singing. I promise. I promise. I really do promise. and You will live with your grief forever but grief will not be your life forever. With the girls I don't have the option to lay in bed and cry. Em and Mor have to be on the bus at 7:15 so when the alarm goes off at 6:00a there isn't an option to roll back over. If I stayed in bed all day then I don't think that would make Craig's legacy live on. He put this family in a wonderful spot before He left. There are times that I have wished for the time to just cry but that is a double edge sword too. I have spend some evening in tears but those are healing tears and each morning is a new day. Some days are easier than others but each day bring healing and closer to the next step for my family.
So this is a long post. I have a lot swirling in my head these days and this is just the tip of the iceberg so thanks for letting type through about a .00000001 of what is on my heart.
Craig, Are you meeting new people there? I know you wanted to hang with your dad and Calvin for a while but what else is going on? There is a bunch of stuff here and then really in the grand scheme of things, not really a whole lot. Anyway, miss you, love you and will see you again.
People with great intention sometimes say stuff like, it was God's plan for Craig to die at age 34 and we have to just accept it. Recently I have heard discussion on this topic on WAY-FM especially when talking about the loss of a young child. I don't think that God wants our lives to be cut short we simply live in a fallen world. It is His will that we have the gift of eternal life and whenever our bodies give out then we have a Home to go to. I do think that He builds our bodies strong but they are in fact earthly bodies and have earthly limitations. Do I think that He could have reached down and cleared up Craig's pancreas and liver in a magic wand like fashion? Yes. Why didn't He? I don't flippin' know but to continue to ask those questions will make ya a crazy person and scriptures constantly has the theme, "Do not worry, God's got this." so I am going with that (most of the time anyway).
I am healing and growing through this year. The frenzies are much shorter in length and much less intense as each hurdle comes. I give all the Glory to God for that. Healing without Him is not healing. It is simply move forward. We are doing more than just moving forward. There are days that it is just simply breathing and getting through but with God leading some days we are doing more than that.
http://www.chicagolandwidowed.org/blog/what-i-would-tell-my-newly-widowed-self-monday-january-14-2013
This is great blog post. Here are my additional thoughts on each of the topics.
Your body will feel every inch of your grief so be kind to it.
I have to pat myself on the back for this one. Although around the holidays I was eating comfy food and gained 6 pounds (yuck) overall I have not succumbed to the temptation of overeating or drinking. I think this in large part to the Facing Adversity group that I went to while Craig was sick. I heard story after story of numbing the pain of disappointment with alcohol, drugs or food and then when enough was enough that they were still left with pain and the mess the habit left them. Since the end of January I have added more exercise in the mix and that has been a fabulous help reaching the daily goal of sanity. I have said many times to close friends in my sarcastic way that there should be an award for single parents that aren't alcoholics. Your kids are doing well, and might look like a train-wreck sometimes but you make the good decision not to drink yourself to a comfy place. Here is your certificate of achievement, see ya next year. :) Kidding...kinda.
Your loss will transform your relationships. and You are not alone…not by any stretch of the imagination.
This has been a tough one to deal with for me. Although I value the new relationships that I have made I miss being a couple so badly. One blog post I never published talked about missing being Craig-n-Michelle. You know the list of people that you go through when you talk about who you are meeting us with this weekend... Gwen-n-Scott, Kristen-n-Brent, Josh-n-Kelly, Jason-n-Christy...I miss being Craig-n-Michelle. But one day I will be a someone-n-Michelle...just not today b/c Ive got some more healing to do. I do love the new relationships that have developed in this crappy widow club. Crappy reason. Great people.
(future blog post: Who will be at my dinner table in heaven?)
You will actually feel like getting out of bed one day and be happy that the sun is shining and the birds are singing. I promise. I promise. I really do promise. and You will live with your grief forever but grief will not be your life forever. With the girls I don't have the option to lay in bed and cry. Em and Mor have to be on the bus at 7:15 so when the alarm goes off at 6:00a there isn't an option to roll back over. If I stayed in bed all day then I don't think that would make Craig's legacy live on. He put this family in a wonderful spot before He left. There are times that I have wished for the time to just cry but that is a double edge sword too. I have spend some evening in tears but those are healing tears and each morning is a new day. Some days are easier than others but each day bring healing and closer to the next step for my family.
So this is a long post. I have a lot swirling in my head these days and this is just the tip of the iceberg so thanks for letting type through about a .00000001 of what is on my heart.
Craig, Are you meeting new people there? I know you wanted to hang with your dad and Calvin for a while but what else is going on? There is a bunch of stuff here and then really in the grand scheme of things, not really a whole lot. Anyway, miss you, love you and will see you again.
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
anticipation
The anticipation of March 18th has been weighing on me. It seems there is a certain expectation on this day to fall apart. I have taken the day off work just in case I cannot see my computer monitor through the tears. Remembering where we were this time last year is harder than thinking about how Craig was healed on March 18th at 1:10 in the afternoon. Looking back at the Merimee Journey blog and thinking about life at the end of February and the beginning of March brought tears to my eyes. The pain that Craig experienced I don't miss witnessing. The anxiety of when his death would occur and was I doing everything the "right" way, I do not miss. The constant iphone alarm every 2 hour to take pain meds so that he would simply sleep more and be more confused than 2 hours prior, I don't miss. I don't think that I will fall apart on March 18th. I think I will feel a level of relief that I did when he took his last breath. I hope to take the day to remember that he is cancer-free and in paradise. I hope to be relieved that the 1st year is behind us and hopefully the expectations of how to do this grief thing "right" will ease up a bit.
Before this journey I would have defined grief as missing someone a lot. There is a lot more to it than just occasionally thinking, Hmmmm wish they were here. I have said it before, it changes every aspect of life. From laundry to relationships. From dinner to dreams. The list goes on and on and you can't image in it until you experience it. We are committed to work through each of those things one day at a time God's way but for now I can honestly say I am just exhausted. In February I just needed a break from certain distractions. I just wanted to focus on healing and getting through the anniversary as a whole person rather than pieces. I got off track for a couple weeks and rode an emotional roller coaster. I regret letting a situation get me off track to personal peace when I knew I needed to head that way. Now more than ever I am committed to simplifying some areas of life and getting through March as a whole person rather broken.
This time last year when Craig was so sick I remember yearning for the light at the end of the tunnel for him and our family. I remember going through the study of the old testament at church and thinking we were studying such dry and hard topics. I yearned for the light of the New Testament and the Hope that Jesus brought. Here I am a year later and remember what we endured last year at this time, sitting in a time of grief now and still yearning for the Hope of Easter once again. Although I am not the same person that I was a year ago and the journey ahead has almost a year on the books the Hope of Jesus is still what I crave. I know that in His time He will redeem my family. I know some day I will see Craig again. For the month of March I have to make a commitment to being still so that I can feel His peace and eventually find His Hope.
Craig, If there are blogs in heaven miss you more than ever when things get hard. You were a comfy spot that knew me better than anyone. I could count on you. I love you and I will see you again.
Before this journey I would have defined grief as missing someone a lot. There is a lot more to it than just occasionally thinking, Hmmmm wish they were here. I have said it before, it changes every aspect of life. From laundry to relationships. From dinner to dreams. The list goes on and on and you can't image in it until you experience it. We are committed to work through each of those things one day at a time God's way but for now I can honestly say I am just exhausted. In February I just needed a break from certain distractions. I just wanted to focus on healing and getting through the anniversary as a whole person rather than pieces. I got off track for a couple weeks and rode an emotional roller coaster. I regret letting a situation get me off track to personal peace when I knew I needed to head that way. Now more than ever I am committed to simplifying some areas of life and getting through March as a whole person rather broken.
This time last year when Craig was so sick I remember yearning for the light at the end of the tunnel for him and our family. I remember going through the study of the old testament at church and thinking we were studying such dry and hard topics. I yearned for the light of the New Testament and the Hope that Jesus brought. Here I am a year later and remember what we endured last year at this time, sitting in a time of grief now and still yearning for the Hope of Easter once again. Although I am not the same person that I was a year ago and the journey ahead has almost a year on the books the Hope of Jesus is still what I crave. I know that in His time He will redeem my family. I know some day I will see Craig again. For the month of March I have to make a commitment to being still so that I can feel His peace and eventually find His Hope.
Craig, If there are blogs in heaven miss you more than ever when things get hard. You were a comfy spot that knew me better than anyone. I could count on you. I love you and I will see you again.
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Spolier Alert: What will heaven be like?
http://www.southeastchristian.org/Default.aspx?page=4754&sermon=164
Craig was a part of another sermon this past weekend. (link above)
More to come, I just wanted to go ahead and get this posted for the out-of-town blog followers.
Lots of tears this weekend, thankful, heartbroken hurting, just tears. I think I am all out of tears.
Craig was a part of another sermon this past weekend. (link above)
More to come, I just wanted to go ahead and get this posted for the out-of-town blog followers.
Lots of tears this weekend, thankful, heartbroken hurting, just tears. I think I am all out of tears.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
My Morgan turns 6
Morgan Elizabeth turned 6 on Friday. She had some trouble thinking about her birthday this year without her daddy being here. She remembered he was here last year and even the year before he could swim with her to celebrate but this year he was going to be absent. For the past couple weeks we have worked through some of the questions she had about what Craig is doing in heaven and really coming to terms with where we are without him. One discussion at bedtime was what was he doing. We came up with several scenios on how he could be celebrating Morgan's birthday there while celebrate it here on earth. We came to the conclusion that we still have a good time with all that we have going in our house and he has a good time where he is then it was "okay". We would rather be together but we are happy for him and we are still happy here so we were "okay". These things don't come easy as I type that paragraph there is a lot more to it than one conversation at bedtime. But that was the overall conclusion after much discussion with art therapist, reading through scriptures about heaven, emails with teachers, etc etc. It is a lot for all of us to work through but we are committed to it and each time we do we are a little closer and are a little more healed than the day before.
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| I made the girls a "Daddy book" it is full of picture of them and Craig through the years. She got the first look for her birthday. They love it. |
Morgan did enjoy her birthday. I came down with a stomach bug the night before but slept most of the day on Friday so by the time they got home from school I could rally and make it a special occasion for Morgan.
Morgan Elizabeth has been a fun-loving, hard-working, busy-bee from the get-go. She was in a hurry to get here (and landed me on bed-rest at 32 weeks pregnant) and hasn't slowed down since. She keeps me on my toes but is always willing to use the energy that God gave her to help others (especially her mom). She has made a ton of friends this year in school and she is a natural leader.
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| She was a tough baby but a really fun toddler. :) |
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| I love this picture. You can tell they are polar opposites but the best of friends. |
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| Happy 6th Birthday Morgan! Love you. |
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Happy Valentine's Day
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| Hannah was not happy she had to wait for a chocolate muffin for a picture. |
Happy Valentine's Day!
1 John 4:19 "We love because he first loved us."
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Thankful Thursday
The little things:
1. A new YMCA opened close to our house and we joined! The girls LOVE the indoor water park and I am really enjoying some of the classes as well as the walking track. It has been really good for us on those cold days where we need to get out of the house but it is still too cold to play in the backyard or go to the park.
2. NUTELLA. hello.sweet.goodness. We just discovered this dream.
All joking aside we have so much to be thankful for and we are moving forward and growing as time moves on. We seem to have gotten into a good grove around here. There are always a few hiccups through the day where it is very evident there is only one of me and three of them but for the most part we are doing great as a family unit. Getting through the holidays was a huge hurdle. January was a month of growth and set the tone of a new year and a new beginning. Emily doesn't look the same kid that she did in December. Morgan is reading more and more. I see a desire in her to learn more than I have in the past and a new confidence in herself. Hannah is getting bigger and bigger everyday. She literally grows overnight. One day she couldn't reach the water in the sink to wash her hands and I swear the next morning she could.
I feel like I am growing as well. It has been a challenge and I can see where some widow(er)s get "stuck" in grief for years. There are times that I wish I had the "luxury" to sit in a puddle of my own tears for days/week/months/years missing Craig. I feel closer to him when I am down about him not being here but I know I have to continue to learn who I am without Craig. I just don't have the time to sit and cry. The other day I took 10 minutes to sit in my closet and cry that Craig wasn't coming home from work. In that time Hannah had somehow busted out of her bed that she was supposed to be napping in and Emily and Morgan tried face timing my brother in the middle of the day while he was at work a couple times. Image if I stayed in the closet crying for weeks... for as sweet and wonderful as they are, they could do some real damage if I decided to fall apart for an extended amount of time.
There was a night that I was driving home and a rap song came on the radio. It was sooo old-school and it brought back so many great memories. I was crying and smiling through the whole song. I think I am the only widow that might cry and laugh through "No Diggity," "Biggie Big Poppa," "Hypnotize," or Flo Rida's "Low." We had fun in college and had plenty of dance parties with the old school hits with the girls. Craig knew all the words to every song (seriously, it was ridiculous). He was a fun rapping banker...can't find those around every corner. :) It is an awesome gift to miss someone so much that you can cry and laugh at the same time when thinking about memories shared together. And above all the silliness and goofy fun Craig wanted the best for us. He helped make this house as strong as it is so that we could move forward each day. The more that I put one foot in front of the other the more I am growing and even becoming a different person. Cancer changes perspective and it has been difficult to work through those bad memories but as we continue to walk through the fire we are blessed with rays of hope. We have settled into new normal and embracing each day.
Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Craig, if there are blogs in Heaven, we love you, we miss you and we will see you again.
1. A new YMCA opened close to our house and we joined! The girls LOVE the indoor water park and I am really enjoying some of the classes as well as the walking track. It has been really good for us on those cold days where we need to get out of the house but it is still too cold to play in the backyard or go to the park.
2. NUTELLA. hello.sweet.goodness. We just discovered this dream.
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| Hannah loves Nutella. |
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| Emily's new glasses and missing her front teeth |
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| Miss Morgan |
I feel like I am growing as well. It has been a challenge and I can see where some widow(er)s get "stuck" in grief for years. There are times that I wish I had the "luxury" to sit in a puddle of my own tears for days/week/months/years missing Craig. I feel closer to him when I am down about him not being here but I know I have to continue to learn who I am without Craig. I just don't have the time to sit and cry. The other day I took 10 minutes to sit in my closet and cry that Craig wasn't coming home from work. In that time Hannah had somehow busted out of her bed that she was supposed to be napping in and Emily and Morgan tried face timing my brother in the middle of the day while he was at work a couple times. Image if I stayed in the closet crying for weeks... for as sweet and wonderful as they are, they could do some real damage if I decided to fall apart for an extended amount of time.
There was a night that I was driving home and a rap song came on the radio. It was sooo old-school and it brought back so many great memories. I was crying and smiling through the whole song. I think I am the only widow that might cry and laugh through "No Diggity," "Biggie Big Poppa," "Hypnotize," or Flo Rida's "Low." We had fun in college and had plenty of dance parties with the old school hits with the girls. Craig knew all the words to every song (seriously, it was ridiculous). He was a fun rapping banker...can't find those around every corner. :) It is an awesome gift to miss someone so much that you can cry and laugh at the same time when thinking about memories shared together. And above all the silliness and goofy fun Craig wanted the best for us. He helped make this house as strong as it is so that we could move forward each day. The more that I put one foot in front of the other the more I am growing and even becoming a different person. Cancer changes perspective and it has been difficult to work through those bad memories but as we continue to walk through the fire we are blessed with rays of hope. We have settled into new normal and embracing each day.
Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
Craig, if there are blogs in Heaven, we love you, we miss you and we will see you again.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Widows with babies Prayer
http://www.widowschristianplace.com/2013/01/pray-for-widows-with-babies.html
Lord God,
I pray for widows with babies and young children today. I never knew of such a tragedy before--even pregnant women can become widows--yet now I now of several, and how my heart goes out to them.
First, I pray for these young mothers. Please strengthen them through your servants in their church, through their family and through their friends.
Make these people sensitive to their needs. Give them eyes to see, ears to hear, and a sensitive spirit that can tune in to the needs of a widow and her children.
Burden them to pick up an extra gallon of milk and package of diapers when they're in the grocery store. Burden them to pray for her as they shovel the snow from their driveway, replace the brakes of their car, fill their gas tank or grocery cart---may they go do the same for the widow in her time of need.
And, Lord, your Word says that you gently lead those who have young. This is for all moms, but I pray you'd especially fulfill this promise for the widowed mom with little ones. Guide her to green pastures where she will find peace. Give her income, and the wisdom to manage it well. Give her kindness from her employer, kindness from strangers and rest from her worries.
I also want to pray for her children. May you be a father to the fatherless. Rest your Spirit upon her children, that they may grow strong in their convictions and leadership. May they know your holy power and love with great certainty and honor. Give them a love for their mother; protect them from bitterness and selfishness; grant them a heart of gratitude and the ability to see your generosity and goodness to them.
Now, Lord, encourage these widows with babies and little ones. Encourage them with your presence. May they each see your fingerprints over all the circumstances of life--not only the miraculous, but also the mundane. May they sense your love and watch care over them and their babies this very day and everyday.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
This prayer touched my heart and I do hope that people pray like this for us. Ferrees is a former widow and has recently written a book. I follow her blog from time to time. It is rich with resources and support. Thanks Ferree for being obedient to God's calling to you and keeping up the blog and being such an encouragement.
Isaiah 40:11 He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
Lord God,
I pray for widows with babies and young children today. I never knew of such a tragedy before--even pregnant women can become widows--yet now I now of several, and how my heart goes out to them.
First, I pray for these young mothers. Please strengthen them through your servants in their church, through their family and through their friends.
Make these people sensitive to their needs. Give them eyes to see, ears to hear, and a sensitive spirit that can tune in to the needs of a widow and her children.
Burden them to pick up an extra gallon of milk and package of diapers when they're in the grocery store. Burden them to pray for her as they shovel the snow from their driveway, replace the brakes of their car, fill their gas tank or grocery cart---may they go do the same for the widow in her time of need.
And, Lord, your Word says that you gently lead those who have young. This is for all moms, but I pray you'd especially fulfill this promise for the widowed mom with little ones. Guide her to green pastures where she will find peace. Give her income, and the wisdom to manage it well. Give her kindness from her employer, kindness from strangers and rest from her worries.
I also want to pray for her children. May you be a father to the fatherless. Rest your Spirit upon her children, that they may grow strong in their convictions and leadership. May they know your holy power and love with great certainty and honor. Give them a love for their mother; protect them from bitterness and selfishness; grant them a heart of gratitude and the ability to see your generosity and goodness to them.
Now, Lord, encourage these widows with babies and little ones. Encourage them with your presence. May they each see your fingerprints over all the circumstances of life--not only the miraculous, but also the mundane. May they sense your love and watch care over them and their babies this very day and everyday.
In Jesus Name,
Amen
This prayer touched my heart and I do hope that people pray like this for us. Ferrees is a former widow and has recently written a book. I follow her blog from time to time. It is rich with resources and support. Thanks Ferree for being obedient to God's calling to you and keeping up the blog and being such an encouragement.
Isaiah 40:11 He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Gratitude turns what we have into Enough
The sermon this week was on generosity and giving. Tithing. I love the way SE tackles this topic year after year. Tithe has little to do with money. It has to do with where your heart truly is. The majority of the sermon this week was about being content with what you have. This is a hard lesson in our culture today. It seems even the word contentment is a bad thing b.c it sounds like you are settling. God doesn't want us to settle for a mediocre life. He wants us to live the life that He gave us to the fullest. He gave us mountains to climb, rivers to swim in, snow to ski on, beaches to build castle on etc etc. He wants us to enjoy the gifts that He has given us and be grateful for them. Every little thing. If you are struggling with something whether it is a disease, or financial issues, marriage problems, etc the quickest cure is gratefulness. It will not take the struggles away but it will put them in perspective and make them manageable. Our culture strives for perfection and it is not realistic which is why there are so many people so incredible depressed and searching for the next thing or person to comfort them. It can be exhausting b.c they are just wasting so much time, money and energy jumping from one quick "fix" to the next.
If you followed our cancer blog Craig was ALWAYS thankful regardless. Although he struggled in the cancer journey he was ALWAYS so grateful for the things that he had. He was an amazing example of someone that could handle any situation with grace and strength b.c of his attitude of continuous gratitude. What an amazing legacy.
"For where your Treasure is there will your Heart be also." Matthew 6:21
If you followed our cancer blog Craig was ALWAYS thankful regardless. Although he struggled in the cancer journey he was ALWAYS so grateful for the things that he had. He was an amazing example of someone that could handle any situation with grace and strength b.c of his attitude of continuous gratitude. What an amazing legacy.
"For where your Treasure is there will your Heart be also." Matthew 6:21
Friday, January 25, 2013
TEAMHOPE
http://www.kintera.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=1036967&team=5372584
Here is our TEAMHOPE page. Last year we had three team members who raised $4500 (awesome!!). This year we would love to add more members to the team. If you are signed up for the mini and want to run for a purpose then join TEAMHOPE in memory of Craig. We will probably make a day of it and meet up after the race.
Here is the link to sign up for the DERBY mini marathon on April 27th. http://derbyfestivalmarathon.com/
There will be a large cheering section this year as well so if you are not a running but want to cheer on TEAMHOPE we will have a meeting spot and be wearing purple. If you are not a runner or a cheerleader but still want to support the team then click on the link and make a donation.
Craig wanted to make big changes for the people that are facing Pancreatic Cancer. This is a great way to support his efforts.
Happy Training TEAMHOPE Runners!
Here is our TEAMHOPE page. Last year we had three team members who raised $4500 (awesome!!). This year we would love to add more members to the team. If you are signed up for the mini and want to run for a purpose then join TEAMHOPE in memory of Craig. We will probably make a day of it and meet up after the race.
Here is the link to sign up for the DERBY mini marathon on April 27th. http://derbyfestivalmarathon.com/
There will be a large cheering section this year as well so if you are not a running but want to cheer on TEAMHOPE we will have a meeting spot and be wearing purple. If you are not a runner or a cheerleader but still want to support the team then click on the link and make a donation.
Craig wanted to make big changes for the people that are facing Pancreatic Cancer. This is a great way to support his efforts.
Happy Training TEAMHOPE Runners!
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