Thankful Thursday

The little things:
1. A new YMCA opened close to our house and we joined! The girls LOVE the indoor water park and I am really enjoying some of the classes as well as the walking track. It has been really good for us on those cold days where we need to get out of the house but it is still too cold to play in the backyard or go to the park.
2. NUTELLA. hello.sweet.goodness. We just discovered this dream.

Hannah loves Nutella.

All joking aside we have so much to be thankful for and we are moving forward and growing as time moves on. We seem to have gotten into a good grove around here. There are always a few hiccups through the day where it is very evident there is only one of me and three of them but for the most part we are doing great as a family unit. Getting through the holidays was a huge hurdle. January was a month of growth and set the tone of a new year and a new beginning. Emily doesn't look the same kid that she did in December. Morgan is reading more and more. I see a desire in her to learn more than I have in the past and a new confidence in herself. Hannah is getting bigger and bigger everyday. She literally grows overnight. One day she couldn't reach the water in the sink to wash her hands and I swear the next morning she could.

Emily's new glasses and missing her front teeth

Miss Morgan

I feel like I am growing as well. It has been a challenge and I can see where some widow(er)s get "stuck" in grief for years. There are times that I wish I had the "luxury" to sit in a puddle of my own tears for days/week/months/years missing Craig. I feel closer to him when I am down about him not being here but I know I have to continue to learn who I am without Craig. I just don't have the time to sit and cry. The other day I took 10 minutes to sit in my closet and cry that Craig wasn't coming home from work. In that time Hannah had somehow busted out of her bed that she was supposed to be napping in and Emily and Morgan tried face timing my brother in the middle of the day while he was at work a couple times. Image if I stayed in the closet crying for weeks... for as sweet and wonderful as they are, they could do some real damage if I decided to fall apart for an extended amount of time.

There was a night that I was driving home and a rap song came on the radio. It was sooo old-school and it brought back so many great memories. I was crying and smiling through the whole song. I think I am the only widow that might cry and laugh through "No Diggity," "Biggie Big Poppa," "Hypnotize," or Flo Rida's "Low." We had fun in college and had plenty of dance parties with the old school hits with the girls. Craig knew all the words to every song (seriously, it was ridiculous). He was a fun rapping banker...can't find those around every corner. :) It is an awesome gift to miss someone so much that you can cry and laugh at the same time when thinking about memories shared together. And above all the silliness and goofy fun Craig wanted the best for us. He helped make this house as strong as it is so that we could move forward each day. The more that I put one foot in front of the other the more I am growing and even becoming a different person. Cancer changes perspective and it has been difficult to work through those bad memories but as we continue to walk through the fire we are blessed with rays of hope. We have settled into new normal and embracing each day.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Craig, if there are blogs in Heaven, we love you, we miss you and we will see you again.