Gratitude turns what we have into Enough

The sermon this week was on generosity and giving. Tithing. I love the way SE tackles this topic year after year. Tithe has little to do with money. It has to do with where your heart truly is. The majority of the sermon this week was about being content with what you have. This is a hard lesson in our culture today. It seems even the word contentment is a bad thing b.c it sounds like you are settling. God doesn't want us to settle for a mediocre life. He wants us to live the life that He gave us to the fullest. He gave us mountains to climb, rivers to swim in, snow to ski on, beaches to build castle on etc etc. He wants us to enjoy the gifts that He has given us and be grateful for them. Every little thing. If you are struggling with something whether it is a disease, or financial issues, marriage problems, etc the quickest cure is gratefulness. It will not take the struggles away but it will put them in perspective and make them manageable. Our culture strives for perfection and it is not realistic which is why there are so many people so incredible depressed and searching for the next thing or person to comfort them. It can be exhausting b.c they are just wasting so much time, money and energy jumping from one quick "fix" to the next.

If you followed our cancer blog Craig was ALWAYS thankful regardless. Although he struggled in the cancer journey he was ALWAYS so grateful for the things that he had. He was an amazing example of someone that could handle any situation with grace and strength b.c of his attitude of continuous gratitude. What an amazing legacy.

"For where your Treasure is there will your Heart be also." Matthew 6:21

TEAMHOPE

http://www.kintera.org/faf/search/searchTeamPart.asp?ievent=1036967&team=5372584

Here is our TEAMHOPE page. Last year we had three team members who raised $4500 (awesome!!). This year we would love to add more members to the team. If you are signed up for the mini and want to run for a purpose then join TEAMHOPE in memory of Craig. We will probably make a day of it and meet up after the race.

Here is the link to sign up for the DERBY mini marathon on April 27th. http://derbyfestivalmarathon.com/

There will be a large cheering section this year as well so if you are not a running but want to cheer on TEAMHOPE we will have a meeting spot and be wearing purple. If you are not a runner or a cheerleader but still want to support the team then click on the link and make a donation.

Craig wanted to make big changes for the people that are facing Pancreatic Cancer. This is a great way to support his efforts.

Happy Training TEAMHOPE Runners!

Even if - continue

Okay I am still on blog hiatus... no really I am... but I need to do a quick Thankful Thursday (on Friday). Yesterday (Craig's B-day) was harder than I imaged it would be. So many questions were magnified the biggest one of course is WHY? Why couldn't he been given the gift of a 35th Birthday on earth? Lots of tears in between the normal things of the day. Tears that bring healing are not in vain. And although I could remain in the motion of constantly asking God why? I choose to trust. It gets harder with every holiday or special day that hurts so badly but working through those time brings peace that only the Lord can provide the next morning.

My Thankful Thursday goes out to be peeps that I met up with for ridiculous conversation topics over a beer, including beards: how annoying they are, how hot Elizabeth Shoe (sp?) is, coo-coo dates, how to tie a tie, and a general update on the Price is Right. It felt good to talk about something else and laugh. What a blessing.

Last year these people were a blessing in so many ways. It is awesome to have friends that know how to have a good time regardless of the circumstances. Laughter is the best medicine and we have always been blessed with people that could laugh at and with each other. Ecclesiastes 3 says there is a time for everything. I has been blessed with friends that can laugh and cry within 15 minute span of time.

Ecclesiastes 3

There is a time for everything,
    and a season for every activity under the heavens:

²     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

Thank you for all the prayers, text messages, facebook post, voice mails etc. We made it through another first and woke up the next morning feeling blessed. That doesn't happen without prayer!!

Craig, if there are blogs in heaven, we love you, we miss you and we will see you again.

Kutless - "Even If"

blog hiatus

There wont be much blogging going on in January. Work is nuts and it hard to keep up with three kids, a job and blog on top so just a warning there won't be too much on here this month.

Craig's birthday is tomorrow and I am not sure what to do with that date. It seems like a reminder that his life was cut too short. I know that God has a plan, we are just visitors on this earth and Craig is at Home but the fact that he didn't see age 35 is hard.

For the new year this blog may take a different turn. Grief and making a new normal isn't really a journey that needs a huge cheering section. It needs prayerful intimate friends and Godly support. It needs a lot of quiet time and reflection rather than a committee of cheerleaders. Our cancer journey needed a huge cheering section and taking our blog followers along on that journey fullfilled that need in a MAJOR way. God was so good to us in the form of supportive friends that fed us, patted us on the backs at church and in meetings, loved on us, and mostly prayed for healing on our behalf.

As we continue down the path as a family of 4 rather than 5 journey I need to stop and think about my family's needs. It hard to really put into words what losing a spouse does to other relationships. I have said it many times, it changes everything (!). I have found myself trying to gloss over somet hings to save feelings just to keep the blog going. That has never been the purpose of a Merimee blog to just keep it going. The original blog's purpose was to keep people up to date with cancer happenings. It turned into much more and the Ultimate purpose was to bring God all the glory. This blog purpose is the same, to bring God all the glory. Until I can figure out how to do that... we are on hold and if you need me I will be buried in media buys for a month.

Please continue to pray for our family even though you don't get a blog update.

Craig, if there are blogs in heaven, we love you, we miss you and we will see again.

Paci, glasses, and another missing tooth

It snowed!! It was beautiful. We were in NKY for my cousin's wedding this past weekend. The snow was a beautiful backdrop to a very special wedding. It was so pretty. Although not really peaceful as we ran from one event to the other but never the less we tried to enjoy the scenery.

I had to document what Hannah asked for from Santa this year. GUM! yes gum. Emily and Morgan asked for American Girl dolls and Hannah requested gum... easy enough. She was so pleased. She also received Bulls-Eye (the horse from Toy Story) but she was pretty excited about the gum. :)

Emily got glasses on Thursday. She doesn't need them to see but she can see much clearer with them and so far tends to wear them 95% of the time. This isn't a great picture but she looks adorable in them. Her front tooth also came out this morning at the breakfast table while eating her frosted wheat squares.

In late December, Joshua, our Elf on the shelf collected all of Hannah pacifiers and took them back to Santa who gave them to a baby that kept crying and crying. Now that that baby has Hannah's pacis she doesn't cry any more. This is a big deal for a 2 1/2 year old with a big paci addiction. She took it pretty well other than yelling at Joshua to give her paci back but after that not too many request. Accepted it like a champ... I really didn't think it would go that well. Honestly I didn't think it would work at all or I might have relished the adorable paci baby face one last time before Joshua took them away.

These are all things that Craig is missing out on. Our girls are growing up one little milestone at time. Although these events are not as monumental as graduations, weddings, first cars but when you have kids these are the little things that you celebrate each day. I celebrate my kids growing and changing b/c they are doing so well but it is so incredibly bitter sweet to see them growing up know what Craig is missing. Emily doesn't even look like the same kids as when Craig was alive. Hannah wasn't even talking and now she is speaking in full paragraphs with words like "decorations". It is so very bitter sweet. Someone said that after the year mark and once I get the first out of the way the grief seems to ease up a bit. I do hope so but I think for the rest of my life as I watch our girls grow into fabulous people it will be bitter sweet. There won't be a missing tooth, a set of braces, a heart break, a great report card, a dance recital, soccer game etc. that I won't think, man Craig is missing it. In March and April it was easier b/c I was basically maintaining the life that we made for our kids. But as time goes on our lives are looking less and less like they did a year ago. The conversations are different, the hopes and dreams have changes. Possibilities are endless and we are open to God's plan whatever that might be. But it is hard. Change is difficult even if is is good change that brings growth. It is hard. There are pieces of our lives that look the same but cancer and death changes EVERYTHING. And when I say everything.... I mean EVERYTHING. The new friendships that I have developed over the last year mean a lot to me but the thought that Craig doesn't even know some of these people still takes me back. For 15 years we ran around in the same circles and shared the same friends but time goes by and things change.

I am rambling. We did have a good Christmas. The girls were so very joyful so I road on their coat-tails for Christmas Day. After that we were prepping for the trip to NKY for the wedding so there wasn't too much time to think about it. New Year's Eve was very hard. To start a year without Craig in my life was a bit overwhelming. There was more to it than that but it was a weepy day but at the end of the day I was grateful to have the life that I do with the friends and family that I love. I did see midnight but it was cozy in my bed on the phone with a dear friend.

I am hopeful for 2013 in many ways. I am not sure how much to share on this blog besides grief and the great things the girls are doing but I will share that I am praying for continual healing so that our family will eventually be joined with another family (cue Brady bunch theme music...) or if God so chooses a Godly man that doesn't have children of his own that is fine too. Whatever the case I pray for a year of healing so that we can eventually welcome that addition. God made certain people to be wives and I am just one of those people. I love being a part of a team and I pray that God doesn't wait a ton of years to send someone special to our household.

Anyway. Just wanted to update a little bit. Our Christmas was peaceful and joyful, thank you for the prayers. Please pray for continual healing so that we can welcome God's plan for our future.