Why?

http://www.southeastchristian.org/default.aspx?page=4754&series=12

Today I was in need of reminding myself to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. It was a refocus day. While I worked I tuned into Jeremy Camp on YouTube. Yesterday I was searching for my UK diploma so that I could put it in the frame that I bought for Craig when we were engaged. It is big one with Memorial Coliseum on the top and a place for the diploma on the bottom. I still haven't found it but while I was searching I found paperwork that was nothing big but it was an illustration that we (Craig and I) had a LIFE before cancer. It took me back to a "normal, non-cancer, non-widow" life. It shook my security in where I am in my life right now. I was content in turning the next page in this journey and keep moving forward but it reminded me of a plan that we had that never came to be. And it took a bit to dig deeper today to stay in His plan for my family and not be anxious about the future.

The sermon linked above was the sermon that Dave Stone preached the Sunday after Craig was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic stage 4 cancer and given 3-6 months to live. The sermon is simple titled "WHY?" (HELLO can we say timely?!!) We had just finished up a 4 week series on prayer. I can't say the Prayer series was an earth-shattering series as we sat through it to be honest but when the time came (a week later) it was put into practice and became life-changing. The One Question Series, starting with the question WHY in week one, kicked off a 17 month battle of cancer for Craig and a 17 month farewell for me. I know that the cancer battle had much purpose to it and this sermon reminded me to fix my eyes on Jesus through every battle and every normal day regardless what normal looks like.

In the sermon Dave states that the hour that Southeast packed the Blankenbaker building with every single seat filled to see and hear Bear Grylls' testimony during Momentum week might be noted as the finest hour that Southeast has ever had. It might be; but not because the church filled every seat in a huge building including overflow rooms b/c of a celebrity came to town (in my opinion). It was SE finest hour b/c two 32 year old sat in room 313 at Norton Old Brownsboro Crossing crying about the most horrific news possible and said "His will be done." It was SE that lead us to have that courage to say that and it is my relationship (which continues to flourish at SE) that allows me to be secure in my future regardless of the bumps in the road ahead.
Just took a little refocus today to remember that...

thanks for listening. I feel better now.