Thankful Thursday - God provides

Last week I wrote a couple blog post but didn't post them. They were journal entries and not really a reflection of the house but more just working through things going on in my head. sorry for the hiatus on ThThs.

I got our HHI professional pictures in the mail last week and began to hang them in frames throughout the house. I stress about what pictures to replace each time we get family photos taken but it was even more stressful updating some those that have been around the house for years and years. It is hard to figure out which pictures to keep up of Craig and which to replace with more recent ones. I want to remember the good times that we had as a family but I also want the pictures displayed around the house to reflect where we are and who we are today. Family pictures have always been a big deal to me and obvious continue to be. So I did replace some wedding and engagement photos in my bedroom with some of the ones on the beach of the girls. Each step forward is taken with prayer and intention. If it doesn't feel like the right time that I simply leave it be until it feels right. Some might think that I may move to slow on taking steps and some might think that I move entirely too fast. Please know that nothing is changed without many conversations with God.

I took another big step (if you want to call it that) and moved Craig's clothes out of the closet and the dresser to the storage area in the basement. I didn't throw anything away but I feel the need to make the space mine rather than ours. I have read widow's blog posts where the widow tearfully removes her late husband's clothes smelling each piece. I did not do this. I packed the clothes in bins and went on about the evening. Later that night I went back into my room to get ready for bed and second guessed myself. I sat down on my bed and thought oh no here comes the meltdown, and I reached for my iphone and checked my email one last time for the evening before I intended to go to sleep and saw that a widower acquaintance had emailed and said that he didn't know what was going on this evening but that God had put me on His heart and he felt the need to reach our via email. He included Psalm 56:8 (You have stored my tears in your bottle and counted each of them.) to illustrate how God loves and cares for each of us so much. I knew the second that I read that email that God wanted me to be peaceful and joyful about where we are in our lives and it was OKAY to remove Craig's clothes from my room. We love and miss Craig but it is also time to feel the joy He wants for us after the long cancer journey. There are times that I feel guilty for how well we are adjusting without him but I know that it is only through the strength of God's presence that we can be doing this. This strength that brings such peace from the Creator, who I am to say I do not accept it and replace it with guilt. That is not what God intends for my life right now. He wants my family to be OKAY and we are b/c of all the ways He provides each day. Without that email I probably would have laid awake crying or worried whether I removed the clothes too soon etc. God provided in a major way through a simple note from (basically) a stranger.

Last week was a week of moving forward and receiving the gifts that God provides. So my Thankful Thursday is a big one this week. I am so thankful for a God that never leaves us and never forsakes us. He cares for us so much he keep all of our tears we shed in a bottle. He wants us desperately to cling to Him so that we can receive His gifts of peace and joy regardless of the circumstances.

Thank you, Lord for all that you have provided. :)